The SPI Interview-The Gardes live on the Alternative Show
May 6th, 2004
Transcribed from cassette tapes.
(Gene Simmons song plays on the radio)
DJ CRANKE: How was that for some new music right there, boys and girls? That was “Firestarter” from Gene Simmons, man! Tell, tell, tell you what, that woke me up, what about you guys?
Grover: Ah yeah.
DJ: Let’s play it again.
DJ: No…let’s not, alright, that, that did, that woke me up, the cover really, uh, kinda piqued my interest, I’ll just put it that way, hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
Grover: Nice ladies…
DJ: Do you like it? Do you like it? Look at that? Eh? Eh?
Siemers: So he just put out a single?
DJ: Uh…I forget, we have ladies in the, in the room, so…we gotta be careful here-We gotta whole crowd of people in here! So these guys, I guess, are gonna put on a little live show for us in a little bit. Right, guys?
DJ: Alright, we got the guys from the Gardes here, we got-alright, everybody, like, introduce yourself-Yup?
DJ: (laughs) What, did the calf fry get to your head this weekend or somethin’?
Grover: Yeah, I think so, man…
DJ: Nice hat, though, I like that. But, no, introduce yourself, guys, come on…
Horton: I’m Brett, and…
Siemers: My name’s Aaron. I’m a sss…guitarist with the Gardes…
(snickering from a member of the entourage)
Grover: I’m Lance. I play bass.
DJ: Who’s laughing?
Matheson: I’m Chad. Oh, that would be that guy back there.
DJ: (laughs) Why is he laughing? …What’s wrong? I can’t even see you!
DJ: I’m not kiddin’! There’s like fifteen people here, this is, this is kinda creepin’ me out, I don’t-
DJ: I didn’t know you guys were going to bring the quar-the quartet in here also to play with you guys…or whatever. So you guys had a CD release show this Saturday, right, last night?
Horton: Last night.
DJ: Right? Where was that? Tell us a little bit about that real quick.
Horton: It was at Mike’s.
(silence then laughter)
Horton: At ten o’ clock.
DJ: That is a little bit. (laughs)
Siemers: Some friends of ours, Aaron & Kira Frisby, put on an art show last night with some stuff that they’d been doing-
Siemers: -the past few months, and, uh, they invited Tyson Meade to play at the show…
Siemers: So it was a kind of a large gathering of…of friends, going back over the years. After the, the art show we had our CD release party at Mike’s and-
Siemers: -we played a pretty short set, but it was great.
DJ: Well, that’s cool, that’s cool.
Siemers: We got to play.
DJ: Well, and you guys haven’t played here in a while. You guys are basically from Ponca City, is that right?
Grover: We all live in different places.
Grover: I live in Austin, uh, Chad lives in Kansas City…
DJ: You live in Austin?
DJ: What are you doing back up here for just a sh-show? Just to play?
Grover: These guys made me come up, man.
Grover: I didn’t… I didn’t want to.
DJ: We made him, dammit! Come on up!
Grover: They said they were going to pay me a lot of money, but I didn’t-they didn’t.
Siemers: (laughs) We gave him twenty bucks.
DJ: You haven’t seen that part?
Grover: Yeah, I saw twenty bucks.
DJ: Man…now I… And what do you play? You play bass?
Grover: Yeah, I play bass.
DJ: You play bass? If I’m ever looking for a bassist for a band, I know where to go to now, if you’re gonna drive all the way up from Austin for twenty bucks a show…
Grover: No, that’s only gonna happen this time around.
DJ: Oh, now you know better?
Grover: No, I’m not…
Grover: I might, I don’t know, just depends…
DJ: Now you know better! Dammit… I almost had us a bassist, guys, I’m tryin’ to put together a house band… a house band just to come in here and jam.
Grover: Oh yeah?
DJ: You know, with me every night…
Grover: What’s the name?
DJ: I have no idea. Free Genitalia, I think, would be the band name…
Grover: (laughs) Free Genitalia?
Horton: You’ll have to shrink them down. (referring to the cramped studio room)
DJ: Yeah, I already got the logo worked out and everything, it’s gonna, it’s gonna be nice…
Grover: We’re working on a side project band-
Grover: -called Strike Force.
DJ: Strike Force?
DJ: OK, we’ll talk about that later…(laughs) I don’t know where we’re goin’…
DJ: Alright, that’s right, and, uh, as the people have already noticed, we got the Gardes in the studio with us tonight. They’re gonna be playing a couple of tracks off their new CD for us, and the CD’s called O My Garde!
DJ: And, uh, did I say, did I say it right, guys?
The Gardes: Yeah…
DJ: Do you like that?
DJ: Oh, are you all right?
Matheson: Oh yeah, I’m great.
DJ: OK, yeah, you look all right. Where’s mine, man? Where’s mine?
Grover: (laughs) He said he’s great.
DJ: Where’s mine?
DJ: We got any more?
Grover: Janson Clark…
DJ: Alright. We may have to send somebody out there on a beer run later. You guys showin’ up with just enough for yourself, I mean, come on!
Grover: Janson Clark…
DJ: (laughs) What do you, You know who the, you know who I am?
DJ: Alright. We got somebody actually on the line for these guys. Let’s try to get these people on here…
DJ: Real quick…Hey, uh, Susan, are you there?
Susan: Hello, can you hear me?
DJ: I, I can, can you?
DJ: Can you hear me? Susan? Can you hear me? Susan? Can you hear me?
Horton: I don’t believe in Susan.
Horton: Not really… That’s funny.
DJ: Susan? We heard you. Why can’t you-
Susan: I’m here. Can you hear me?
DJ: Can you hear us?
DJ: I can hear you, yes.
DJ: But can you hear us?
Susan: OK, now I can hear you.
DJ: Alright, how are you doin’?
Susan: I’m doing great! I’m just so freakin’ excited that the Gardes are in Stillwater and that they’re all here together!
Susan: It’s the craziest thing. I-I’ve been obsessed with Brett Horton since ’99.
DJ: She’s been obsessed with Brett Horton since ’99?
Susan: Totally. Totally. I’ve been trying to follow him, kind of.
DJ: Uh-oh. OK…
Susan: Yeah, my brother, Mikey and I are here and we’re like, pretty much the Gardes’ number one fans.
DJ: Wait a minute, now, wait a minute…
Susan: Yeah, Frank Lava got us super into the Gardes with Legends Of Voddville, and I just want to find out, where can I find O My Garde?
DJ: Well…here, speak up a little bit. Hold on, there you go…
DJ: Can you hear him?
Susan: I can barely hear you all.
DJ: Can you hear him? …You can’t hear him? …
Susan: No. Not at all.
DJ: OK. Say something to her. Again…
Susan: Brett Horton, are you there?
Horton: Yeah…this is a prank call.
Susan: We heard you all are making a movie. Is that true?
Horton: You might be.
DJ: Wait a minute. Where’d you hear this about a movie?
Susan: On the internet.
DJ: On the internet? Are you guys making a movie, too?
DJ: (laughs) Yeah! Sure! Why not?
Horton: Maybe. I don’t know.
DJ: Well, why are you so obsessed with Brett?
Susan: Just because, like, it’s, it’s a long story. Like all my friends and I are just totally into Brett Horton. He’s so awesome…
DJ: He’s so awesome…
Susan: Yeah, let me let you talk to my brother real quick, Mikey, OK?
DJ: OK, she’s gonna go talk to her brother…
Mikey: Yo, hello!
DJ: (mimicking tone) Yo, whattup, dog?
DJ: (mimicking) How you doin’?
Mikey: I can’t hear you!
DJ: (mimicking) How are you?
Mikey: I can’t hear a thing!
DJ: You can’t-
Mikey: I just wish you would play that new record, man, we can’t wait to hear that stuff!
DJ: (strange voice) Can you hear this? Can you hear me now?
Mikey: I can’t hear anything, man!
DJ: Well, then, fine, then…I’m sorry, hey, well, we’re just gonna… hang up on ya, I guess…
Mikey: Well, let me tell you one thing!
Mikey: I love this band! I love all the people in it! And I just think they’re gonna take over the world! They’re so-they’re so cool, man, they from outerspace!
Mikey: Turn that stuff up, man, we can’t wait to hear that stuff!
DJ: Who are you people?!?
Mikey: It’s driving me crazy!!!
DJ: Alright, Alright! We’re playing it next, calm down!
Mikey: But I can’t hear you!
DJ: We’re playing it next!
Mikey: I love the Gardes! Long live the Gardes!
DJ: Hey, thank you-
Mikey: Peace out.
DJ: Thank you. Yo! Peace out? (laughs)
DJ: Peace out!?!
DJ: Does he, does he, does he? Obviously, he’s never seen me because he would-he’s gotta know how absolutely white I am…(laughs)
Horton: We gotta start prank calling people because we’re getting pranked, I believe…
DJ: (laughs) Alright, well, hey, we gotta talk about the new album real quick, uh, it’s called O…O My Garde! And, we’re gonna be playing the first track off of this next?
Grover: I’m New To You.
DJ: Alright, I’m New To You. What a-when-why did it take you guys, why did it take you guys a year and a half to put something new together, past, uh, Legends Of Voddville?
Horton: We’re not really a band.
DJ: You’re not really a band?
Horton: We kind of are.
DJ: You kind of are?
Horton: (laughs) Yeah. We make music.
DJ: You have fans, I mean, you got people here.
Horton: We don’t play very often, though, I mean, we just make music.
Siemers: Everybody makes music.
Horton: We write songs, and like, you know, that’s us playing on there.
Grover: We kinda…we kinda converge like every year we seem to float back to each other. Everybody moves away.
Horton: We’re from…we’re from Ponca City, though.
Horton: Yeah, we’ve played in a bunch of different bands together.
Horton: It’s all been kind of the same band with different names.
Horton: We get sick of all the names.
DJ: Mm-kay. But this is a new record, and you can get this on your website, right?
Horton: Yeah, and-
DJ: What’s the website?
Horton: Actually the band’s name is actually spelled, um, T-H-E G-A-R-D-E-S, it’s not, like, guards…
DJ: Not like, “guarding” a gate or anything…
Horton: Not like that or anything.
Horton: You think they can hear that?
DJ: I think, I think they can…
DJ: I can. I can hear you. I mean, I’m right here, but-(laughs)
Horton: Cool. Well, I guess, play ’em some…
DJ: Alright, well here’s the new track off the new CD…uh oh, what?
DJ: Uh oh, what? You guys-
Horton: I didn’t say anything…
DJ: You guys are tripping me out tonight, man.
DJ: And I haven’t taken a damn thing! Well, besides those six hydrocodone-
Grover: You’re getting weird…
DJ: (laughs) OH HO HO!
Grover: Get weird with us.
DJ: Hand me the spoon, boys and girls, it’s time to listen to the Gardes!
Grover: Clown shoes.
DJ: Here is a-clown shoes?
DJ: It’s time-this is off their new CD, O My Garde! And the song is called I’m New To You.
Horton: Strike force…
DJ: We’ll be back with more Gardes after this.
(I’m New To You plays)
DJ: Alright! We’re still here with the Gardes having a good time and I think we have someone going off on a beer run for us, because we only got a few left and, well, that’s what happens when you got twelve people in here, I don’t know what else to say…And no, uh, no more crazy calls yet, just a couple of well wishers, a couple of people that have listened to the show last night, said they dug it, and want you guys to play again, but, you probably told them no.
Siemers: Well…it’s just they’ll have to wait in anticipation…
Siemers: For our next, it’s a secret date.
DJ: But until then…
Siemers: Until then…
DJ: They can go out and buy the CD.
DJ: Now, is the CD available anywhere besides the website?
Siemers: Well, uh, in Brett’s backpack…
DJ: So you have to- (laughs) have to hunt down Brett…
Siemers: Hunt down Brett you can get a free CD…
DJ: Find Brett and you can get a CD or just get…
Horton: They’re not in my backpack.
DJ: Oh, they’re not?
DJ: Where are they?
DJ: They’re right here! (laughs) They’re down there. They’re somewhere in there.
Horton: They’re somewhere in here.
DJ: Cool. Cool. Well, well, how did the show go last night at Mike’s? It was a CD release party, essentially…
Horton: It was short.
Grover: Yeah, it was kind of rough…
DJ: Just a short show?
Grover: Yeah, the booking wasn’t too hot so we only played for, you know, probably twenty minutes and the other band was kind of pissed, and, you know…
DJ: Who was the other band?
Grover: I don’t even remember the name.
Horton: Something the rangers from Springfield.
Person from the entourage: Archemo Rangers.
DJ: Archemo Rangers?
Grover: Yeah, they were really good, um, there was just a miscommunication so we didn’t get to play our full set.
Siemers: The music went really well, though.
Horton: We were fine, but there were some people that got kind of mad about not being able to see us and this one guy threw a glass at the other band.
DJ: Oh no-(laughs)
Horton: That’s what I hear anyway.
DJ: That’s not good!
Siemers: Not good at all.
Grover: Yeah, that’s kind of bad, but, you know, they were cool guys and you know, worked it out, and you know…
Horton: It’s funny.
Grover: Yeah. Pretty bad.
Siemers: They offered to split a gig with us in Springfield if we’re ever in the area, so…
Grover: (mumbles something to the DJ)
DJ: (starts laughing) Those lyin’ bastards! (laughs)
Siemers: The gig went really, really well, you know, we hadn’t played, we hadn’t played together in a few weeks as we said earlier we live in scattered places across the Midwest, and…
Grover: We actually practiced in the bar for the first time together before the show…
Horton: We’ve never all played together before, this…
DJ: This line-up…
Horton: These four right here. We just came together and we had like kind of someone sub for us…
Siemers: Chad’s got a, he’s in a band called the Down Trunks…
DJ: Mm-kay. Mm-kay. Did you find me a CD?
Matheson: Yeah. I’ll get it to you.
DJ: You don’t have one?
Matheson: Well, I gotta look for it.
DJ: Oh, OK.
Matheson: I’ve got a messy truck.
DJ: Oh, OK.
Siemers: And he’s a talented enough drummer. He’s a great drummer. He just sat in with us and played fantastically. So it all worked out…
DJ: That’s very cool. Very cool, well, good, good, Well, we’ll try to get some more people to call in here in just a little bit…talk to the gang…we’ll play a couple more tracks off their CD, and, you guys got a bunch of equipment, are you gonna play a live, live tune also?
Horton: I don’t know, we might.
Siemers: Maybe just one or two.
DJ: Alright, we’ll see if we can talk them into doing that. Give us a call at…(clears his throat) excuse me. Give us a call at 377-
Grover: (mumbles something)
DJ: Trippy Weird Castles?
DJ: Is that what you said?
Grover: Yeah. That was it.
DJ: I’m curious to hear that one. (laughs)
A member of the entourage: It’s good.
DJ: (talking to a caller on the line) Oh. OK…
Caller: How are ya?
DJ: Well, that’s even better! I’m fine!
Caller: Good. Let me speak to one of those Garde boys.
DJ: One of the Garde boys…
DJ: You got one on the line.
Caller: They are just so avant-garde, like, uh, will you guys play me a song, a live one?
Siemers: Yeah…sure, what would you like to hear?
Caller: Why don’t you give me Piggyback Ride? I heard that’s a classic.
Caller’s friend: Ask them why they’re being so quiet…
Caller: Why are you guys being so damn mysterious on the air?
Siemers: Yeah, I know, we’ve got a few shy ones here, but-
Caller: Well, Mr. Siemers, you’re doing a dandy job of representing.
Siemers: Well, you know…(laughs)
Caller’s friend: Hey, say something to inspire us, guys, we know how much you have inside you…
DJ: Is this Susan again?
Siemers: Well, maybe we should just play a song-
Caller’s friend: No, this is not.
DJ: Oh. OK. (laughs)
Siemers: As musicians, we like to express ourselves through music…
Caller’s friend: This is Sally Suicide, and I just am so excited to hear your music, it’s driving us crazy, come on…
DJ: Sally Suicide…
Sally Suicide: Yeah.
DJ: OK. (laughs)
Siemers: Well, yeah, uh, I’m looking forward to playing a few songs…Piggyback Ride, I-I didn’t know that you were familiar with that. That’s kind of a… That song is very, on the… on the underground. It’s not one that gets out much…
Siemers and Sally Suicide: (laughs)
DJ: So you want to hear Piggyback Ride?
Sally Suicide: Was that Aaron Siemers talking?
DJ: I think it is…
Sally Suicide: You’re doing such a-you! are just ruling tonight, and…you know, tell the other guys to stop being so quiet…
DJ: We’ll let ’em know, we’ll let ’em know. We’ll try to break ’em out of their shell here in a little bit. She said you guys are being too damn quiet.
Siemers: I think…I think they need to have the guitars in their hands for them to open up their mouths…
Horton: We can’t hear anything!
DJ: (laughs) Well, not right now…
DJ: But when we’re talkin’…Alright, we’ll get ’em-we’ll get ’em to play something live here in just a few minutes, alright?
Caller: Well, we’d appreciate that and so would the world…
DJ: (laughs) Well, alright, man, thanks. Thanks for calling, guys. Alright, thanks a lot, man…
Sally Suicide: Last night ruled!
DJ: (laughs) We’ll see you guys later!
Siemers: Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks, Sally…
Horton: Sally Suicide…?
DJ: Thanks for calling, Sally and friend… Are you guys having fun yet?
Grover: Yeah! Let’s drink some more beers.
Siemers: Oh, fantastic…
DJ: Hey, wait a minute, why are you sneaking in behind me?
Horton: I’m comin’ in from behind you.
(jumbled voices and laughter)
DJ: It’s a cramped-It’s a cramped space in here, man, you know, I like-I like my area. (laughs)
Siemers: How about we, ah, plug in the guitars and play a song?
DJ: Well, I’m gonna play a song off the CD real quick while you guys maybe set up and then we’ll play a live one then… Is that what-?
Horton: Can we, can we wait till like the very end to play?
DJ: Well, why would you want to do that?
Horton: Just to make it easiest.
Siemers: Yeah. Any reason?
DJ: Cause then you have to break down- break all your crap out and put it all back together, like that, like that-
Horton: Why can’t we do that?
DJ: Well, why can’t we do that? You can do whatever you want, I mean… It’s kind of your show, now…
DJ: Don’t kick-don’t kick my ass or anything and take over!
Siemers: How about we, uh-(laughs)
Siemers: Let’s play this next song and then we can discuss it off-
DJ: Yeah! You guys can fight about it off the air! (laughs)
Grover: We’re on the air?
DJ: Yeah! We’re on the air!
DJ: Here’s Hip For Me from the Gardes. We’ll be back. Hopefully they’ll play a live song if they haven’t killed me first! We’ll see you in a few minutes…
(Hip For Me plays)
DJ: Alright, that’s Hip For Me from the Gardes’ off the new CD, O My Garde! And, uh, actually, let’s just do this… Rock and Roll Alternative?
New Caller: Yeah, I have a question for all those boys…
DJ: Alright, man, hold on just a second, alright, you there…?
Matheson: Alright, what’s goin’ on?
New Caller: Are any of you handsome men single?
Matheson: “Are any of you handsome men single”?
New Caller: I’m looking for a lover…
DJ: It’s a guy asking…
Grover: Oh. It’s a guy?
Matheson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Grover: Yeah. We are. Umm…
New Caller: Well, what are you doing later tonight? I heard there might be a party at the Motel 51…
Matheson: There’s a party at the Motel 51.
DJ: There’s a party at Motel 51?
Matheson: Sounds like a jam fest.
DJ: Really. Now where, where is that again?
New Caller: I don’t know, it’s on the outskirts…
DJ: It’s on the outskirts?
New Caller: Yeah.
DJ: Alright, did you s-?
New Caller: How many boys are up there?
Matheson: (laughs) How many boys are up here?
DJ: How many boys are up here?
DJ: (laughs) Right now, about six…
New Caller: Does Brett Horton have a twin brother?
DJ: Your what?
New Caller: Does Brett Horton have a twin brother?
DJ: Does Brett Horton have a twin brother? I don’t know, I don’t know if the world could take that…
(cell phone starts ringing)
DJ: Could they?
DJ: Do you have a twin brother, Brett?
DJ: He says no.
Grover: Oh, hey. What’s up, man?
Matheson: He says it with a serious face, too…
Grover: I’m on the radio, actually…
DJ: Hey! Take your other phone call outside, man! (laughs) I mean, come on!
DJ: We’re on-we’re on the air here! Do you see me calling my laundry list in or somethin’?
New Caller: Oh, come on, man! I’m trying to find a boy!
DJ: Alright, t-talk to the man…
Matheson: He’s trying to find a boy, man, well, uh…uh…
DJ: Well, tell him, are you single?
Matheson: Well, yeah, I’m single, but I don’t know if I go that way…
New Caller: Which one are you?
Matheson: Uh…I-I’m pretty much straight.
DJ: (laughs) No. Which one are you, I think is what he said.
Matheson: Oh…Which one am I…I’m an honorary Garde member.
New Caller: Which face do you wear?
Matheson: I wear the mad face.
Matheson: I put my mad mask on sometimes.
New Caller: Get down. Down and dirty.
DJ: You like that in your boys, huh?
New Caller: I’d like to get down in your trunk, boy.
Matheson: Oh, wow! Wow…
DJ: I think he knows who you are.
Matheson: Yeah, I think…I think he does.
DJ: This is getting scarier and scarier by the moment.
Matheson: Yeah, it is. It’s kinda making me blush a little bit.
DJ: Were you the one that handed like a bouquet of flowers up to him after the set last night?
New Caller: You betcha.
DJ: You betcha…Alright.
Matheson: Oh, nice. OK, I remember you now…That’s really nice of the guy.
DJ: (laughs) That was nice. That’s a nice gesture.
Matheson: That’s awesome.
New Caller: I wish you would stop playing all those other songs by the other artists and let’s dedicate the full time to the Gardes.
Matheson: Hey, that sounds like a good idea.
DJ: Alright, wait a minute, now.
New Caller: These guys are going to save the world.
DJ: I still-
DJ: I still got a job to save myself, though, you know? I can’t save the world one-I can only do it one song at a time.
New Caller: Do your best.
DJ: But, hey, we are going to have them play live here in just a few minutes.
New Caller: I can’t wait.
Matheson: Sweet, man, this guy’s cool, dude.
New Caller: Well, thank you. I think you’re cool and I’d like to meet you at Motel 51.
Matheson: I’ll be there, man.
DJ: After ten o’ clock, you gonna be there?
New Caller: I will.
Matheson: Sweet, dude, this guy…(laughs)
DJ: You guys gonna go to the Motel 51?
Matheson: Yeah, man, we’re gonna party it up.
DJ: What room are you in?
Matheson: Party at Motel 51, man.
DJ: What room are you in, man? You wanna say that on the air?
New Caller: Six hundred and sixty-six.
DJ: (scoffs) Now wait a minute. I know there’s not a six hundred and sixty-six hotel room-
New Caller: How do you know?
DJ: I know there’s not one in Motel 51.
New Caller: Do you practice the dark arts?
DJ: No. Not very often. Only on Sundays.
New Caller: That’s so Satanic.
DJ: Oh, it is Sunday! Holy…jeez. (laughs)
New Caller: Get those guys guitars in their hands and let’s hear something.
Matheson: Alright. Cool. Cool. We’ll get them on it.
DJ: Alright. We’ll get some music going in just a little bit from them, alright?
New Caller: Get dirty.
DJ: Alright, grab your jelly and have fun, man, we’ll talk to you later.
Matheson: (laughs) Later, man.
New Caller: Have fun.
DJ: Bye. Whoa.
Matheson: That guy…
DJ: That guy…Yeah. Interesting. Hmm… I think he wants to take you guys out on a walk through the pasture.
DJ: And…he’s not…he’s not lookin’ for any cow-tippin’ or anything like that, if you know what I…If you get my drift. (laughs) Hey, here all right. We’ll be back with some more from the Gardes…
DJ: We have another caller on the line today. Are you there today?
Next Caller: Hi…
Next Caller: Hey, I just want to say hi to Lance Grover, I know he’s got a real cute girlfriend, but I didn’t want to cause any problems, I saw him at the show last night, and he really has the licks, man, and I also heard that Chad had a new rap album, was planning a rap album or something like that.
Grover: Uh…What? (laughs)
DJ: So you just want to say hi to Lance cause you know he has a real cute girlfriend?
Next Caller: Yeah, but Chad, is it true you’re playing on a rap album?
DJ: Is Chad playing on a rap album?
Grover: Chad, are you playing on a rap album?
Horton: Planning or playing on one?
DJ: Where are you, Chad?
Grover: Ah, I think he’s gone.
DJ: Chad, I think, went to the restroom or something.
Next Caller: I heard he had like a new song out.
Grover: Really…um, do you know it?
Next Caller: I can sing it, but I don’t want to embarrass him.
Grover: Oh, no, it’s okay. Go ahead. Go ahead and sing it. I might remember it.
Next Caller: You want me to sing it?
Grover: Yeah. Yeah. Why not? So I can remember it.
Next Caller: Man, OK, here goes… I want to tell you about that little guy his name’s Chad
He walks around like (jibberish)
You walk up to him, you go up to the street
Gonna pull down his pants (jibberish) gonna show you his backstreet
DJ: Uh, Chad, do you have a song written about your backstreet?
Matheson: My backstreet? Oh, ho, ho, yeah, that was a bad experience…
Next Caller: He knows what I’m talking about…
DJ: He does know what you’re talking about, he’s not quite blushing, but he’s scratching his left eye.
Next Caller: I can imagine.
DJ: Haven’t quite figured that out yet. So who is this?
Next Caller: This is Chancy.
DJ: Chancy? Are you having as good a time as we are, it sounds like-
Chancy: I’m havin’ an absolooot-
Matheson: Hey, we’re going to the Motel 51 later.
Grover: Yeah. Did you hear about that?
DJ: Yeah, we’re having a party at the Motel 51 with some guy.
Chancy: Well, I’ll be there. I’ll bring the beef hot dogs…
Grover: Bring the big what?
Chancy: The beef hot dogs?
Grover: The big hot dogs?
Chancy: Beef Ha-ha-you know-whee-
DJ: (laughs) OK. This is getting-this is getting dangerous…
Horton: Hang up on ’em.
Chancy: Tell Chad to bring the buns…
DJ: Alright. Chad, you bring the buns, she’s got the hot dogs for you…
DJ: Alright, Chancy, thanks for calling, we gotta go to some more music. But it’s been fun talking to you. Where do you guys meet these people, huh?!? Are these relatives?
Grover: I have no idea.
Grover: That was pretty good stuff, though.
DJ: That was, she sang us a song even.
DJ: She sang the song that you wrote about your backstreet.
DJ: Yeah, it was very interesting. I’m glad the FCC hasn’t started calling yet because it was quite interesting…
Horton: Are we on the air?
DJ: Yeah, we’re still on the air.
Horton: Okay. Play a song right now.
DJ: Why? You don’t want to talk to-you don’t want to talk to me now?
Horton: No. Not really.
Grover: No! We-we-
Siemers: We want to talk…
DJ: Alright, we gotta take a…Yeah, let’s go to another song after this-
(at this point in the interview a pizza is delivered and the Gardes sit him down to talk to the DJ in their place)
DJ: Alright, we’re going to send out a plea right now for someone a little less creepy to call and talk to us…
(the pizza deliverer talks about the pizza business. Grover offers him a beer, and the pizza deliverer says he probably shouldn’t be drinking while he’s driving around. The pizza deliverer talks some more)
DJ: Hey! Let’s play with this person…Who do we got?
Caller: Hey, this is Johnny.
DJ: Johnny, how are you doin’?
Johnny: I’m doing swell. Thanks for asking.
DJ: Yeah, you wanna talk to the pizza guy?
Johnny: Oh, no, not really, I’d just like to say how much I really enjoy the Gardes.
DJ: You really enjoy-
Johnny: I’m a student here at OSU. I’m coming from another country, and, uh, a couple of years ago, they put out a record, the Legends Of Voddville, yeah…
Johnny: And I read a review in the OSU newspaper and I took a chance and I bought it, and the sound really was great, and, uh, I just cannot wait to go to the website and order the new one, and I’d just like to say that I really like the music, and I’m going to take it back to my homeland and play it for all my friends and family and I’d just like to say I really liked it.
DJ: Well, where are you from?
Johnny: I’m from Pakistan.
DJ: From Pakistan?
Johnny: Sure enough.
DJ: And your name was Johnny?
Johnny: Johnny, well, that’s my American name.
Johnny: But I just really liked the sound, the, le Gardes…
DJ: Le Gardes…
Siemers: Thanks. Thanks, Johnny.
DJ: Alright, Johnny. Hey, thanks for calling.
Siemers: Yeah, we really appreciate it.
Johnny: I really love you.
DJ: (laughs) He really loves you.
Johnny: I love the music, don’t get me wrong.
DJ: Okay, well, thanks for calling, Johnny, have a good night.
Johnny: Thank you. Don’t take me wrong.
DJ: Oh, we won’t take you wrong.
Johnny: Okay. I don’t want to be confused.
DJ: No, no, we’re-you’re good, man, you’re probably the sanest person that’s called all night.
Johnny: Well, thank you.
DJ: Well, alright, thanks for calling, man…
DJ: Alright, it takes somebody from another country to actually bring some brains to the show tonight and just say, hey we like you guys, blah blah blah…
Siemers: It’s as simple as that.
DJ: I know. How great is that? Pizza guy, what do you say?
Pizza guy: Oh, well…
(the DJ talks more with the pizza deliverer)
DJ: Sean, the pizza guy, brought us up some pizza, we really appreciate that…right now we’re going to be playing another song, another song from the Gardes, just to appease the crazed mass of people that keep calling in and having a good time with us tonight. The next song…you wanted to talk about this next song…
Siemers: This song is one of the ones on the album that is the most recently been composed…Brett and I threw it together one night, it’s a really simple tune, but I hope you enjoy it…
DJ: Alright, and what’s it called?
Siemers: It’s called If I Should Live A 1,000 Lives…
(If I Should Live A 1,000 Lives…plays)
DJ: …we’re just havin’ a great time havin’ some free pizza…
Matheson: Yes, we are.
DJ: And chillin’ with the homeboys that keep calling in, peace out, yo.
Matheson: (laughs) Peace out, yo?
DJ: To quote a great caller from earlier in the night…
Matheson: Oh. OK. Cool…
DJ: You know, peace out, yo. Did they just turn the A/C on?
Matheson: I think it just came on…
DJ: Good God! It’s cold in here. Uh, well, hey, you were mentioning something earlier about you playing in another band from Kansas City…
Matheson: Oh, yeah, yeah, it’s the Down Trunks, uh, Kansas City, whatever, but, anyway, I really enjoyed playing with the Gardes…you know, they’re really great.
DJ: How did you get hooked up with them?
Matheson: Oh, I’ve known these guys for a while, so…
DJ: Oh, have you?
Matheson: Yeah, they just wanted me to come down and sit in and play some drums, so that’s what I did.
Matheson: It’s always fun, yeah.
Siemers: We decided that the Gardes is just a form by which, uh, mult-any musician that is interested in the, uh, can subscribe to the form of the Gardes…
DJ: Just come in and jam a little bit…
Siemers: Well, you know, it’s, it’s just a, the Gardes, just the idea. It’s great to have Chad or anybody else sit in and play some songs. He did a great job. Without hardly any practice, he-we sounded awesome, so…
DJ: Very cool.
Matheson: It was fun.
DJ: Well, alright…
DJ: …on the Rock and Roll Alternative, who wants to talk to this guy? Come on, somebody, please.
New Caller: I’m just curious-
DJ: Alright, you there, man?
New Caller: Yes, I’m here, I’m wondering…What does the Gardes mean, you know, what do the Gardes…what is their philosophy? You said it wasn’t a guard, you know, that would protect you. What is the Gardes?
DJ: Yeah, come on, Brett.
Horton: Well, it’s just a name…
New Caller: It has no significance whatsoever then, huh?
DJ: Come on, man, give him something…
Horton: Why are you so interested, actually?
Grover: What do you think it means?
New Caller: I’m interested in your sound.
Horton: Well, actually, we just couldn’t ever decide on a name that we all liked so that just became the name…
DJ: But it stands for-
Horton: It’s not like we really like that one either, but people just kind of called us that for some reason…
DJ: Well, didn’t you say it kind of stands for like avant-garde, is that what you kind of meant by it?
Horton: I don’t know…
Horton: It could be, I guess.
Grover: I guess that’s where it probably was found, but, you know, it probably has an alternate meaning.
Siemers: I used to be a security guard-
Horton: Yeah, he used to be a security guard!
Siemers: at the library…
Horton: (laughs) That’s true!
DJ: At this library?
Siemers: It was actually a library in Norman…
DJ: Oh, OK…
Siemers: So…it might have come from there…I think-
Horton: -it comes from everywhere!
DJ: But if, but if it came from there didn’t you spell it wrong?
Siemers: Well, yeah, but I never really learned to read…
DJ: But you worked at a library!
Siemers: Oh, well…
Horton: But he was a security guard there…
DJ: Oh, well, that’s true…
New Caller: Oh, alright, well, anyway, I like the songs you guys have been playing, and I wish you would play a live one for us.
DJ: I think we’re working on that…
New Caller: Give us a treat, we’d appreciate that.
DJ: We’re trying to get them talked into it. Alright-
New Caller: And all the luck to those guys.
DJ: Aaron? Was it Aaron, is that your name?
New Caller: Yeah.
DJ: Well, thanks for calling in, we’ll get ’em on here in just a few minutes…
Aaron: Well, thanks for getting those guys on cause they really are going to do it.
DJ: Alright, well, thanks. Hey, I’m just honored to have them on with me. It’s fun.
Aaron: Thank you.
DJ: Thanks, Aaron.
Aaron: Have a beautiful night.
DJ: You, too. I think, I think the people that are calling are all the same people.
Horton: Same people, yeah…
DJ: But they’re just giving us different names…Which is fine… yeah…
Grover: Makes it interesting…
DJ: Yeah, it’s keeping it real, right?
Horton: Keeping it real…
Grover: Well, not really… (laughs)
DJ: No, but, you really don’t have any significance from the name? Not really…
Horton: Well, I used to think it was a really stupid name and then, I mean, I just thought it would be the right one… (laughs)
Grover: We were the Gards 3 or 4 years ago or something like that…
Horton: We just…I don’t know… It’s hard to name something…
Siemers: I always thought it sounded really cool.
Horton: I’m starting to like it better now, but it’s not like the best name…(laughs)
DJ: I’ve got a question for you guys that I remember off your website-
Horton: Oh yeah?
DJ: About something about you guys are the reason bands aren’t allowed to play at Stonewall anymore…?
Horton: That’s what we’ve heard.
Grover: Yeah, that’s what we’ve heard.
Horton: Yeah, because when we played there, um, the crowd was just being…
Grover: Yeah. The cops came.
DJ: Like rude unruly, or happy-for-the-music unruly?
Horton: Yeah, it was like that. Happy for the music.
Grover: Well, pretty much, you’re responsible, I think, for what you bring in…
Grover: And when you get a couple guys up there, you know? And during the intermission, you know?
Siemers: As you can see, some of our fans are kind of-
DJ: They’re a little, they’re a little odd.
Grover: Busting the nasty rap?
DJ: They’re a little odd. But that’s okay! I like odd…
Horton: We don’t.
DJ: Odd is good. You don’t?!?
Siemers: We appreciate-
DJ: That’s bull!
Horton: Yeah. Get rid of them.
DJ: Yeah…Can we lock the doors?
(at this point some of the interview is lost)
DJ: …did the pool table get stolen?
Grover: Well, we were the Happenin’.
Horton: We weren’t called the Gardes then. We were playing with our friend, Ricky Lenhart, then…
Grover: And, umm, yeah…
DJ: Hold on. What the hell? There we go. You there? Alright.
Siemers: I was just whistlin’.
DJ: Sorry about that. Are you whistling?
Horton: (starts whistling)
Siemers: Yeah, I’m a whistler.
Siemers: I’m the whistler for the Gardes.
Horton: But it wasn’t us…
DJ: It was just the crowd?
Horton: We didn’t have anything to do with it. We didn’t do anything.
Grover: But, you know, we changed our name…
Horton: But that’s kind of stupid that Stonewall won’t have any bands come and play after that.
DJ: I don’t understand why they don’t do that.
Horton: Well, yeah…
DJ: There’s not much room in there for it, but still, I think it could work.
Horton: I’ve heard some things about the owner…
Grover: There’s a… there’s a…
(a knocking sound)
Grover: Oh shit.
DJ: I didn’t hear anything…
Grover: Alright. Neither did I.
DJ: …well, alright, are you guys gonna have any breakage at the next show you guys play?
Horton: Any what?
DJ: Any breakage at the next show you guys play?
DJ: Yeah, where people come in and just riot…
Siemers: Last night, of course there was a little conflict-
DJ: Last night, yeah, somebody got hit with a glass or something?
DJ: But that was the other band so screw them, you know?
Grover: Pretty much it was like a hoe-down last night.
DJ: It was a hoe-down?
Grover: Yeah. It was a hoe-down.
Grover: Yeah. It was wonderful.
DJ: Wait a minute. A hoe-down?
DJ: Last time I said a hoe-down I got arrested.
Siemers: It was kind of a folk-off.
Horton: It was a hootenanny.
DJ: A hootenanny…
DJ: Sounds up-alright, you feel risky?
Horton: It was all fun.
DJ: You guys feel risky?
Grover: I guess.
Siemers: Yeah, sure.
Grover: Let’s take it.
DJ: Hold on. Let’s see. Alright, you there? Rock and Roll Alternative…Hello? I’m talking to you. On the phone. You’re not there?
Grover: Wow, it’s magical right there, magical…
DJ: Oh, hey, is this-
Horton: Hey, why you call and not say anything?
DJ: Is this Shields? Is this Shields from Shields and Yarnell? …No, I guess not. I thought that was one of the mimes that I had as a guest one time…That was a fun show, you remember the eighties show, Shields and Yarnell?
Horton: You have mimes calling you?
DJ: Every now and then.
Horton: Clown shoes.
DJ: Trapped in a box!
Grover: Pretty boots.
DJ: Alright. (laughs) Here’s some-
Horton: Trapped in a box…
DJ: …The Rock and Roll Alternative, and we have an old friend of the guys…this is Alexis, are you there? Alexis, hellooo…? Alexis? Now Alexis isn’t there… You there, baby? Alexis?
Alexis: (clears her throat)
DJ: There you are. Hey, Alexis! I hear you! I hear you, Alexis. Are you there?
DJ: Hey, what’s goin’ on?
Alexis: Nothing! I was just listening to the radio and I heard my old friends, Brett Horton and Lance on the radio, and I didn’t know what had happened to them, so I want to say what’s up to them and stuff, and I’m knocked out by this music…
DJ: You likin’ it?
DJ: Alright, well good…And how did you used to know them?
Grover: What’s up, Alexis?
Alexis: What’s up guys? I can’t really hear them very well. Can you put them on?
DJ: They’re there!
Grover: (in a singing tone) Alexisss, we’re going baaankiiiing…
DJ: Can you hear that? Can you hear that?
DJ: OK. Well, they’re trying to get warmed up to play a song live in the studio here so, so they’re-whup! So, so-(laughs) it’s getting a little loud and distracting in here, but, how did you know-
Alexis: Can Brett talk?
DJ: How did you know these guys? Brett-
Alexis: I used to hang out with them. We’d go under the bridge and drink beers…
Grover: We’d smoke cigarettes at Hutchins…
Alexis: Yes! Everyday! And they were acting like they didn’t remember me. I am so offended.
DJ: I can’t-
Alexis: Are they like big rock stars now-
Grover: No, that wasn’t…
Alexis: And they can’t remember their old friend, Alexis Bales?
DJ: No, I can’t help you there, that’s, that’s, you explain that.
Alexis: Well, where’s Brett Horton? Cause I want to talk to him…
DJ: (laughs) Alright, well I’m-Why does everyone know Brett and no one know any of you other guys? (laughs)
Horton: I’m not a rock star.
Grover: Alexis would like to talk to you.
DJ: (laughs) They’re getting read-look! They’re getting ready to play live on-on the air.
Grover: Oh, Brett’s being kinda shy…
DJ: They’re all like hooked up and plugged in and we’re getting ready to jam out so can-
Alexis: Are they going to play a Smashing Pumpkins song?
DJ: I…doubt it, since-
DJ: -since they’re their own band.
Alexis: Well, but Brett used to always sing me these Smashing Pumpkins songs…
DJ: Smashing Pumpkins?
Grover: Well, Brett’s pretty-
Alexis: And he reminds me of Billy Corgan so much and, I just think that that would really be cool…
Grover: Well, you know…
DJ: I don’t think we can do that. I think they want to play one of their own songs, or two of them…
Alexis: Well, their own songs are awesome, too. They’re like-They are better than the Beatles…
Grover: Hey, Alexis, where are you at?
Alexis: I’m in Oklahoma City.
Grover: Oh, really? Wow. Cool…
DJ: Oh, you guys are better than the Beatles…?
DJ: According to her.
Horton: We’re bigger than the Beatles?
DJ: I didn’t say bigger than the Beatles.
DJ: I said better than the Beatles.
Alexis: But the Beatles played cover songs, too.
Alexis: I really want to hear a Smashing Pumpkins song.
Grover: Yes, they did, but nobody liked ’em.
DJ: Nah, he’s…alright…hey, Alexis, we’re going to go ahead and let them play a song, so I doubt it will be a Pumpkins song, but, you know, I’ll do what I can to get them to play a song, alright, so-
DJ: Alright, well, thanks for calling. I’m sorry they were not sure who you were at first, but-
Siemers: Sorry, Alexis.
DJ: -they figured it out.
Grover: We…we know who you are.
DJ: But, hey! I love you…
Grover: I know who you are…
DJ: I love you, if it matters…Does it matter?
Alexis: I don’t know about that. I’m really just interested in Brett Horton.
DJ: Oh, she’s just really interested in Brett Horton…
Grover: Okay. Well, you know what? I’m gonna-hey, Brett!
Horton: Yeah? Yeah, what?
Grover: Ya know, she’s interested in you. Not me…
DJ: (scoffs) He’s pluggin’ in-
(the sound of an acoustic guitar playing in the background)
DJ: You’ll have to catch him some other time.
Grover: I’m sorry, Alexis.
Alexis: Well, okay. It was nice to hear all of this.
DJ: Thanks for calling, Alexis, have fun.
DJ: Bye… Oh, mannn…
Siemers: What a missed opportunity-
DJ: Are you guys gonna-
Siemers: -to reconnect with an old friend…
Grover: Yeah, that was nice.
DJ: Yeah, it was nice.
Siemers: We’re just going to have to play a really pretty song for her.
DJ: Yeah, you should.
Grover: Yeah. Alexis is cool.
DJ: Are you guys plugged in and ready to go or, who needs to be where?
DJ: You’re the bassist so you don’t need to be in here…
Grover: I’m not even going to be playing.
Grover: I’m gonna sit here and watch ’em play.
DJ: Well, alright.
Grover: So if they mess up, then the blame’s on me.
DJ: There you go.
Grover: Just kiddin’.
DJ: Then you’re in good shape. Who sings?
Grover: Can I lift up your wool socks, Aaron?
Siemers: Well, we’re both singers.
DJ: OK. Jump in here. This is how radio works, ladies and gentlemen. We just cram everybody around a couple of microphones and we go out and have a good time, right?
Horton: We’re just, ah, tired…
Horton: And we’re gonna play a song…
DJ: Well, we understand. I understand that.
Matheson: We’ve been on tour.
DJ: Been on tour…We played our one date.
Siemers: Yeah, it’s been a long tour…
Siemers: We wrote this one on the road…
Horton: We just got back from Bosnia…
DJ: Really? Playing for the troops?
DJ: Oh, mannn…Well, is there anything else in works for the band at all or, just everyone gonna-?
Horton: Well, we might make another album, but we might not-
Siemers: A few more albums, though, we’re kind of a…concepts with which we’re working with…
Siemers: The first album, Legends Of Voddville, the Gardes put together, we might make a sequel to that, we’ve got some ideas…
(a jingling sound, and a hissing laugh)
DJ: Is that a new instrument?
Horton: It’s loose change.
DJ: Your loose change?
Siemers: Then, of course, a follow-up to O My Garde! is somewhere-
DJ: Somewhere in the making?
Siemers: It’s still in the subconscious…
(the jingling sound)
Horton: It’s almost ready to go…
Grover: Actually, that’s 121, not 666.
DJ: So are you guys ready yet?
Siemers: Brett’s just looking for a pick.
DJ: (laughs) What’s the song you guys are going to play?
Siemers: It’s called Go To Sleep-
DJ: Go To Sleep?
Siemers: But, uh, it’s getting ten o’clock.
DJ: It’s getting late.
Siemers: It’s, you know, bedtime for most listeners to this show.
DJ: Fair enough. Fair enough. At least we hope it is.
(a strumming guitar)
DJ: What are we missing? A pick? We’re having technical difficulties. I’m going to play a quick song and then we’ll come back with the Gardes, live in the studio…We’ll be right back with the Gardes.
DJ: …And I think we’ve finally got a pick set up for Brett.
Siemers: Sorry about the wait.
DJ: I think we’ve got the guys here set up for the live sho-live song…Why did I turn into Ed Sullivan all of the sudden?
Siemers: This song was written by Lance Grover, and Brett, and I over a period of years, I guess.
Siemers: It’s called Go To Sleep.
DJ: Alright, well, take it away, guys!
Horton: We haven’t played it in a long time, so if we mess up, it’s alright. We’re tired…
(Horton and Siemers play Go To Sleep (And I Start To Dream) )
(song ends to finger snapping)
Horton: But have good dreams…
DJ: (laughs) Is that…I take it that’s it, then?
Horton: Yeah, we’re not always that creepy!
Horton: We write happier songs.
DJ: Does the snap close it out every time, though?
Siemers: Well, tonight…
DJ: Fair enough, fair enough. Nice job. Nice job, guys.
DJ: Yeah, well, thanks a lot, man, and we’re gonna play one more track off the CD, right? And close it out for the night?
DJ: You guys want to say anything?
Grover: Which track?
DJ: I don’t know.
DJ: I’ll just pick one at random.
Grover: Oh, cool.
DJ: No, I’m kidding. He told me one.
Siemers: The song’s called Right and Wrong…
(referring to the original title of the song)
Siemers: It’s, uh, one of my favorites.
DJ: Alright. Well, guys, thanks for coming in.
Grover: Yup! Thanks!
DJ: We’ll do this again. Hopefully in advance of a show so we can at least talk about what’s coming up anytime you guys got something else coming on.
Grover: Cool. Yeah.
DJ: So, it’s been fun.
Siemers: Thanks a lot.
DJ: Yeah. Thanks for all the listeners calling in, and having a good time with us tonight. And, you guys, we’re probably going out to the Motel 51, room 666, to have a little after party. So anybody out there want to join us we’ll be there.
Siemers: Highway 51…
DJ: That’s right.
DJ: It’s a-it’s a dangerous place. But we’ll be back next week…right now here’s Right and Wrong from the Gardes!
(I’m Right, You’re Right, We’re Wrong plays)
END OF INTERVIEW